How To Overcome BPD Relationship Cycles When Dating Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder A Super App For Mental Wellness

As a result, people with BPD may quickly go from idealization to devaluation—or thinking that their partner is a horrible person. Many people are initially drawn to people with BPD precisely because they have intense emotions and a strong desire for intimacy. This can lead those with BPD to be constantly watching for signs that someone may leave them and to interpret even a minor event as a sign that abandonment is imminent.

The good news is you don’t need a mental health professional to tell you something’s wrong in your relationship. However, if you suspect the person you’re dating has borderline personality disorder, they’re probably engaging in enough behaviors to give you pause. Which means it’s time to ask yourself whether you want to stay with this person or end the relationship.

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Another way to understand how a person with BPD experiences life is to realize they have a more difficult time returning to an emotional baseline. Many of us have a hard time believing that people care about us when we haven’t seen or talked to them in a while. We tend to think that if we don’t hear from people, that means they don’t care. Or if we hear from them when they have a favour to ask, they’re only talking to us because they want something, and they don’t care about us at all.

Your loved one may experience anger or thoughts of self-harm

Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. The issue I have found is that, often, my partners have used jokes to say what they really think but to use the claim that it is a joke to avoid any consequences of their words. Often, I have experienced people making jokes about me out of insecurity and an attempt to gain the upper hand.

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To maintain a positive relationship with someone who has BPD, it’s necessary to set healthy boundaries for what you will and won’t tolerate. Create and maintain your boundaries by defining the limits you want to set, explaining your new boundaries to your loved one, and following through on your commitment. Finally, be aware that many people in your position are misdiagnosed or not diagnosed at all. Even though this disorder is poorly understood and not often identified, that doesn’t mean that it is not treatable. If you fail to get anywhere with your family doctor, make an appointment with a mental health professional who specializes in borderline personality disorder.

How People Can Cope

They may start focusing on negative aspects or having a hard time feeling safe in the relationship. Emotional episodes or cycles are often a reality for people living with borderline personality disorder. You may also face some misunderstandings, so it’s a good idea to avoid getting defensive when your partner misreads you. Clarification and reassurance will go a long way when dating someone with borderline personality.

BPD cycles in relationships often lead to dysfunctional relationships; however, people suffering from BPD are fully capable of being compassionate and nurturing. People suffering from BPD often have strong feelings for the people they love or are in a relationship with. BPD relationship cycle is a continuous and repeating series of lows and highs in a relationship with a person suffering from BPD.

You might feel like you aren’t ready to get started with therapy. Or, you might find it hard to stick with therapy over time. Working with a psychologist, psychiatrist, or licensed therapist can help people with BPD manage their symptoms. Therapy provides a “safe space” to unlearn old habits, and develop healthy strategies. However, having another mental health condition does not necessarily lead to BPD.

It is characterized by intense and highly changeable moods, impulsivity, low self-esteem, fear of abandonment, and unstable relationships. Although this definition of borderline personality disorder is accurate, it may not be incredibly helpful because borderline personalities don’t always show up in this way. People that have BPD can be incredibly loyal, loving and empathetic. As their partner or friend, you may be their ultimate favorite personthat they cherish greatly; but they may also easily become possessive or are very irrational at seemingly the drop of a hat. Your relationship with them may be just as pleasant as it is difficultand you may be really suffering as to understanding why.

Do NOT Isolate Yourself – If you live or spend a lot of time with a person with BPD, make sure to maintain your connection with other family and friends. These people will become your support group when you’re dealing with difficult times. At the end of the day, you also have emotional needs that must be met. And trying to appease your BPD partner may leave you feeling burnt out, depressed, resentful, or even with a physical health condition.