How to rebuild trust in a relationship after it’s been shattered

Not everyone is adept at forgiving their spouses when they commit grave errors like cheating in a marriage. If you want to rebuild trust in your union, be careful not to rush or compel your partner into forgiving you. You need to give them enough time to get comfortable with you. Ensure you keep reassuring them that you won’t break their trust again. Rebuild trust after cheating, you need to be transparent because it shows that you are honest with your partner, not minding their response to your actions. Here are my key ways both partners can fix a relationship after cheating.

You can make all the promises you want, but they won’t mean much unless you also make an effort to show your partner that you are working toward change. This means not only being honest but keeping your commitments.

  • That’s going to inform a lot of the ways you and your partner reconnect.
  • Infidelity, lies, or broken promises can severely damage the trust between partners.
  • However, the exact same scenario may be a betrayal for a monogamous couple.
  • Take baby steps but do start moving in this direction because the physical connection is as important as an emotional connection in a relationship.
  • Couples that can do that are already on their way to saving the relationship.

If your partner makes a mistake or two over the course of a long relationship and owns up to it, working on trust issues may be the right move. It’s normal to question if it’s even worth it before you decide to commit to working on your relationship.

Experts Say This Is How To Rebuild Trust After You Cheated On Your Partner

Emotional betrayal can look like going on dates, texting or creating an emotionally intimate relationship with someone outside your primary relationship. This can happen with friends, co-workers or anyone else you connect with outside your relationship. Again, this can feel very threatening and scary for your partner.

Yet, a person who gains awareness of her unconscious defense mechanisms may be able to deal with the situation in a new way. Consciously adopting a different coping strategy may help. Healthline has strict sourcing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical associations. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy. Your partner may need space and time before they can discuss what happened. But they also might need days or weeks before they can address the issue with you. No matter your reasons, you know you caused them pain, and you feel terrible.

How to rebuild trust in a relationship

It’s important to grieve the betrayal and the loss of trust in the relationship. Cheating is heartbreaking and devastating, but it doesn’t have to be a full stop if both of you are willing to work at learning how to rebuild trust. If you ask a person what they would do if their partner cheated on them, most would say they would leave. However, when it actually happens to you, it’s possible that you’ll feel differently. Basically, cheaters can voluntarily become fully transparent. If a cheater does this without complaint, his or her significant other may be more likely to gradually come around. Over time, if a cheater is rigorously honest on an ongoing basis, relationship trust may be able to be restored.

It’s only when you have full trust in yourself that you can have full trust in your partner.

As your partner starts to open up to you again and you sense some of the intimacy returning, focus on making new memories together. These will help you to make a new start and bring you closer together. It’s important that both of you address what has happened and don’t succumb to the easy option of brushing it all under the carpet. Your partner has to notice all of the changes in you and make it clear that they are ready to move past the lies and start fresh.

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